neurodivergent

I can’t breathe
when I walk the street at night
or by day either
I can’t see
the green leaves turn yellow
or the people gather
I can’t hear
the birds as they chirp
or the children playing
I can’t feel
the grass on my toes
or the sun on my neck
I am lost
in a different world
I am trapped
in a web in my mind
I am torn
by the war of my senses
I am weak
but must be strong
You don’t see the fear I hide
when I visit a brand new place
you can’t feel my heart beat rise
when the crowd is an inch from my face
you don’t know how it feels to cry
with a big old smile on your face
you hate when I stay by your side
but you felt like the safest place
I am sorry
for the shame I cause you
I wish to God
I would not embarrass you
if my brain was a different kind of space
maybe you’d like to see my face
but I’m far from normal
a tad hormonal
a piece from a whole different type of puzzle
square peg, round hole
so atypical
still part of the act
but in the wrong role

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